So HJ and I are in the 2ww again and I am having really mixed emotions about that…. not about having a baby— never a 2nd thought about that! My 2nd thoughts are about how we are living our lives now, in 2 week increments. (Period, waiting for ovulation, then insemination followed by the 2ww) This whole home insemination thing along with IUI’s means that we can cycle back to back to our hearts content. I know HJ and she is now a woman with a mission: my fear is that she will feel compelled to cycle again and again until we succeed. Good outcome: crazy way to live. At least when I do IVF cycles I have time between to feel normal again and re-group emotionally. But who knows, maybe this time will work and we will not ever have to cycle again— dare to dream!
Ok, happier note….
We did our last insemination for the month last night. In a matter of days, Known Donor, Wifey, HJ and I have become super nonchalant about this whole odd process. HJ and I took take-out so that we could all have dinner together since KD and Wifey had an appointment with their OBGYN last night. We looked at the couple’s wedding photos. Donor excused himself and returned with “the cup” really quickly. HJ and he passed one another in the hallway and did an NBA-style High 5. HJ and I went to the bedroom for our portion of the entertainment. We emerge after 45 minutes of insemination + pelvis tilting time. Then all of us watch part of Mr and Mrs Smith. We talk about next month’s cycle timing and decide that we will go to a professional football game together this weekend. HJ and I then come home….. truly surreal.
Oh and my brother is wimping out! He’s getting all shy and wiggy about the process of donating. He is older than me and has never been married so I suppose that I should not be surprised that he has commitment issues. I am a bit angry but I am also not surprised. I am sooooo thankful for Known Donor and Wifey! (Yes, I will be thinking of better pseudonyms by next month.)