I encouraged HJ to take a hpt tonight. Okay that is quite an understatement since I followed her to the bathroom and wouldn’t let her “go” until I unwrapped the test. Then I stood and held the stick for about 5 minutes willing the second line to show up. Of course, the test confirmed her suspicion that she is not pregnant.
I’m okay. She’s okay. We’re okay.
I am trying not to think of this round as a failure. We TTCers bandy the word failure about too often, as though the term does not leave a harmful residue on all our psyches. Truly the language we use affects our thoughts and our feelings. Repeatedly having ours desires put on hold each month is hard enough without us calling ourselves mean words which imply a broken status. Success and failure suggests a duality which I believe is false. TTC offers many outcomes: success (a child born healthy after 9 months), partial success alternate attempts at pregnancy, adoption and others I cannot conceive at this moment. So I will simply say that HJ’s IUIs have not produced a baby YET.