I cannot decide if I am having a Lupron side effect or if this is the same side effect TTC has gifted me with for almost 2 years…. I cry, alot!

Crying is not my usual thing to do. Sure I am a softy but I used to rarely cry. Years as a therapist have taught me ways to not cry because crying right along with an abuse survivor generally sends the wrong message (and so on). For pete’s sake I did not even cry at my own grandmother’s funeral. I cried later because crying in front of all those people felt like an invasion. You get the picture.

Now, I cry with impunity! Over the weekend, HJ sent me a love note via email. I had not even told her about my bad day, so I cried. Next I opened a forwarded email from a friend about how women support one another through friendship, and I cried again. Lastly, I opened an email from a friend telling me her IVF worked….and I sobbed! Really, loud gasping sobs that made the dogs run up to snuggle with me. I was so happy for DB (not even jealous a bit!) and I sat on my bed sobbing and saying a silent prayer.

This is just odd. Is it the Lupron or has TTC broken me? *wink*

Oh, some people asked if I gave my boss permission to share my TTC information with my coworkers. The answer is “no.” I told my boss about IVF because my appointments meant that I had to miss some important grant meetings. She was always super-supportive, especially through the m/c. Then with IVF #2, a coworker let it slip that she knew what was going on with me. I almost laughed at the “oh shit, I wasn’t supposed to know” look on her face. So I knew my boss had told everyone. Now everyone just asks me directly. My boss is pretty great so I do not want to damage our relationship by confronting her. Hence, my glorious lack of privacy at work.

** Edit** I would like to amend my previous statement about lack of symptoms. I now have the crushing Lupron headache that I got during my 1st IVF cycle. Tylenol please!



Filed under IVF #3, random thoughts

6 responses to “waterworks

  1. Anonymous

    awww, you sound a lot like me. I cry at just about any and everything these days. i had a similar weekend. seem like every email i opened or phone call i answered had my crying a flood of tears. even songs on the radio. i went to the grocery store and a song on the radio set off the waterworks in the car. i got some funny looks pushing the shopping cart and crying…lol…oh well.amanda

  2. Travelher and Pufferfish

    I don’t have many side effects from any of the drugs that I’ve taken–but I do seem a little bit more prone to crying. I can cry by myself at any time, so it’s not that I’m not a cryer. But for me, the drugs bring a whole new type of crying. It almost feels good. Like I’m getting a lot of pent up tears out.

  3. insertmetaphor

    I haven’t had any drugs (or even any sperm injected in me) but TTC has definitely made me more of a crier. I’m glad I’m past the ‘crying at my desk at work’ phase, though. That was inconvenient.

  4. anofferingoflove

    oh yeah! i don’t know if its the lupron or the estrace, but i cry at the drop of a hat these days. its really ridiculous! kinda crappy about your boss telling everyone. that wasn’t really her news to share. . .

  5. eeney meeney miney mommy

    I just wrote a whole post about my constant water works. I cry like a baby all the time now. I think it is probably a very good way to deal with the stress but it really takes a lot out of me.The fact that your boss didn’t get permission before spilling your personal affairs is so wrong but most of the people I work with know what is going on and I actually don’t mind. I never have to lie or make excusses about what is happening with me. People seem to be very respectful and sincere and it helps on those oh so bad days.

  6. reproducinggenius

    If this process doesn’t turn a person into a crier, I don’t know what would.

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