I’m not so sure

The doc did, indeed, meet us on Saturday; and he did, in fact, do an IUI. BUT we are feeling pretty doubtful about this month’s attempt.

  • The IUI either had to be early (Saturday) or too late (Monday). Hopefully we hit somewhere near ovulation.
  • The tech at the clinic did not test the sample. We asked the counts after the syringe was all filled and she said, “oh they are pretty much guaranteed to be fine.” (We all have stories about empty vials.)
  • Dr young and cute had serious difficulty hitting the mark. He eventually had to do the grabbing J’s cervix thing. Seriously the process took about 5 minutes– we all know that is way too long for an IUI.
  • J has been crampy and bleeding ever since the procedure.

Next attempt we will be using our new RE– after we go to counseling about having to use a sperm donor. (???) The RE said that it is a law that couples must have counseling and a statement from a psychologist before donor anything can be used. This is one of the times when it feels as though we are banging our heads against a brick wall.

Please tell me that we will actually walk away from all these frustrations and disappointments with an actual child. Sometimes it feels as though all the fertility treatments, drugs and time we invest are not heading toward any real outcome but have simply become our intensely masochistic hobby.

J is feeling quite discouraged and I am learning the art of being the cheerleader. I make a mean batch of rice krispy treats as comfort food and I even suffer through action movies.



Filed under IUI #4

8 responses to “I’m not so sure

  1. Dagny

    I wish I could tell you that.But I can’t. I’ll just keep hoping that it works out for you both.Cause you’d be awesome Mom’s.xoxo

  2. Travelher and Pufferfish

    I’m sorry it was such a frustrating experience. I hate it that we have to trust these people…and it feels like 1/2 the time we know more about what they should be doing than they do.If it makes you feel better–we had to do the counseling as well. I couldn’t believe it, but those were the rules. They were even going to make us do it again (and pay AGAIN) to do the egg donor cycle because the last session was over a year ago! I pitched a fit and we got a free phone consult:)I am still holding out hope for you as you suffer through bad movies.

  3. Next in Line

    What a frustrating experience. I hope your new RE works weekends and will do the IUI’s on the best day. I still think Saturday is ok so I am crossing my fingers for you. The new clinic I am at does the IUI’s on the morning of the surge and believes early is better.

  4. A

    I’m so sorry it didn’t go as well as it should have. But I say heck there is still a chance. That is always a chance.We both had to see a shrink also before using donor sperm. They want to just make sure you aren’t crazy.I’m also learning the art of being the cheerleader. Not always easy to do that either.You have to believe it will all work out. It’s the only way to prevent yourself from going absolutely NUTS. {{{HUGS}}}

  5. anofferingoflove

    ugh, between the dolt of a tech and the bumbling doc, sounds like the iui was quite an unpleasant experience. i’ll be hoping for you both that despite this rocky begining, it actually turns out to be the perfect cycle!

  6. Danielle

    Well well well… who said fairy tales were all gum drops and roses? The tales themselves may not be all they were cracked up to be, but the ending – well, it’s really just another beginning, nothing ends around these parts, all we get is new beginnings and frankly it’s way better then the alternative of having nothing at all :)I’m sorry that things didn’t go by the book, but who knows, maybe that’s just the plot bender that this story needs? Your brain knows that those swimmers will survive long enough to do their thing. Your brain knows that no matter what you do, think you may do or thought you did… none of it was ever within your control.Your mission… provide opportunity! CHECK!… provide support. CHECK!!… Now hope for the best.I know, I know… sometimes it’s just simply easier to hop on the negative nelly train and just start building up that protective wall now so that it won’t sting as much later… but the truth is, the only thing your robbing yourself of is the joys and warmth that hope has to offer. Mourning in advance doesn’t mean you’ll be able to skip any of the UN-pleasantries!So turn your frown upside down and hope for one of those against all odds miracles… the ones that legends are made of!Because this is after all been an epic battle that needs a legendary victory to conquer against all odds! When the going gets tough… the Tough regroup, change roles, share a game plan and keep on going, not because their foolish for dreaming, but because they know it’s going to be worth it!!!!All the crap won’t matter when the time comes. No guarantees this will be it, but this is just one of the steps you’re going to have to take!!!PEP TALK… CHECK!!!Good luck!!! Savor this first week of the 2WW, because this is when Hope can flourish and build up your reserves that you’ll need to get you through the second week!!!Good luck to you both!!!!!!D

  7. insertmetaphor

    Bah, I hate that feeling of disappointment so, so much. I’m sorry it wasn’t a good IUI, but I’ve still got buckets of hope for this try. This is all leading to a baby, it is. It’s hard to believe sometimes, but that’s where we’re heading.

  8. tireegal68

    hi Cindy – thanks for writing on my blog. How is the wait going?I hang out at fire stations (JK) because in an earlier post I mentioned that my partner S had said we should just wait around at the fire station ( a safe place to surrender an unwanted baby in Illinois) for someone to give us a baby!

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