Assuming that this IUI does not work, we have a big decision to make. I really want every one’s input here since J and I keep going back and forth.
2 potential solutions to having a baby: 1) J does IVF then gives me (and maybe herself) some embryos to carry around 2) We use donor embryos.
Here are my thoughts:
- J is 36 so her eggs are not totally fresh.
- I got pregnant on IVF #1 then nothing in IVF #s 2 and 3. So although there are no obvious issues with my luteal phase, we have no guarantees that I will get preggers.
- We could use 2 donor embryo attempts for the cost of using J’s embys in one or both of us.
- While I would love to carry J’s baby, we are not utterly tied to the baby sharing our genetics.
The issues are confusing for me. Each path has its own set of good and bad points. When I make my list of pros and cons, I end up more confused rather than less so.
Best case scenario would be that J gets pregnant with this IUI then I could use donor eggs… best of both worlds but I have no control over her uterus. Thus I am in my current quandary.
Last night I was cleaning out my closet and I found the maternity clothes I bought back in the day. Most still had the tags on them. As I folded them, I had to decide where they should go: attic, Goodwill, stay in closet? I was overcome by a wave of sadness. I really want to have a baby so I am discarding most solutions that remove me completely from the picture. I neatly folded my clothes (along with my hopes) and stored them in my bottom dresser drawer.
So, your thoughts? Feel free to be completely honest.