More dumb things people say

I think most TTCers have experienced people who make seriously insensitive comments. I seem to store up the comments and ruminate about them.

This week, one of my employees was talking about how her grandson has gotten too old to hunt Easter eggs. So she pointedly said to me, “You need to hurry up and have a baby for us to hide eggs for.” My response, ” Well B, that’s not going so well.”

At my last therapy appointment (as in last ever with that woman), my therapist asked me if I could see my miscarriage for the blessing it is. I know her thought process here but I hardly see losing my only real chance at a biological child as a “blessing.”

Not long ago my mom suggested that “We’ll just have to see what God’s will is” about my TTC efforts. In her WASPy way, she was implying that I am throwing away our money because God does not want J and I to have a child. Thanks Mom. I am all warm just feeling your complete support.

Lastly, I was speaking with an old friend. She asked about our baby making efforts and I told her. She said, “Have you ever thought about adoption?” My internal response, “Adoption? What’s that? Never heard of it before! You mean that J and I can just get a newborn baby tomorrow without intense heartache? Well sign me up!” My external response, “Kinda.”

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9 Comments

Filed under random thoughts, rant, TTC thoughts

9 responses to “More dumb things people say

  1. emilythehopeless

    uuuuugh i’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with such insensitivity.. it really amazes me what people will say. the other day i called my mom to tell her about my horrible ultrasound and how we were officially DONE .. and she told me about a baby shower. UGH!!!!!!side note: we MUST meet up/hang out! lunch in atlanta??!! πŸ™‚ i’m a loser, desperately trying to make friends in the south hehe!

  2. Dagny

    Ugh.Fucking stupid people.I’m so sorry. :(((((hug))))

  3. anofferingoflove

    people suck. the comment from your therapist really takes the cake, i think i would have screamed. i always hated the “you can have my kids” offers. so insulting.

  4. Danielle

    “i always hated the “you can have my kids” offers. so insulting.”LOL – They’re assuming we LIKE their Kids!!!! LOL Also a favorite.I’m also a fan of the adoption questions…. I LOVE how people assuming that if you want to conceive you’re automatically qualified, able and willing to adopt. They just don’t get it. When asked about adoption, I like telling them that it’s not for us as I don’t like other people’s children…. which isn’t completely true, although occasionally true πŸ™‚ but it gets them pretty puzzled.Sorry for the jerkishness that’s been going at you.D

  5. glamcookie

    I’m so with you. Screw these insensitive people. I wish people would think before they open their mouths. {{{}}}

  6. insertmetaphor

    Ugh, I collect these too sometimes. I’ve stopped talking about TTC with my mom because all she can do is ask (repeatedly), has Fern been tested for fertility problems? And the underlying suggestion here is that there is something wrong with Fern and we should switch to me instead. Which is a real conversation we might have but not a fucking suggestion I need from the peanut gallery. It totally undermines the complete devastation that Fern would experience by not being able to carry a baby. It’s a huge decision not like deciding to go to a different restaurant because the line’s too long at the one we’ve picked!People don’t think before talking. The therapist comment is especially horrible – holy crap!

  7. samantha

    I came across your blog from lesbianfamily.org. Thank you so much for this post. I found out my 2nd IUI with stim meds had failed a week ago and I have been ready to strangle people for their insensitive comments….. My cousin who knew we were trying asked how the fetus was. I said there wasn’t one and she then told me it just wasn’t meant to be.I am soooo sick of insensitive people!

  8. reproducinggenius

    It is so exhausting to endure these comments, and you’ve had to endure some truly obnoxious ones. God’s will? Really? Ugh. I’m sorry. xoxo

  9. tireegal68

    I don’t know how I missed all your recent posts – your blog was not showing up in my blog roll for some reason.I hate it when people say this kind of S.hit – it’s like the cr.ap they pull when people die and they say stuff to make THEMSELVES feel better!URGH!!!so sorry!I wish I could think of a witty retort to some of this stuff. Or a cutting one!( evilly plotting!)

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