Today J and I went for a consultation with the therapist our RE told us to see. Apparently she has to give us her blessing to use donor material. I went to the appointment with more than a little hostility about the matter, though I am not 100% sure why that may be. In any case, the office space she shares was a total 70’s shag carpet nightmare: totally reinforcing my sentiments that the lady would be a crackpot therapist. I also had a really strong urge to behave inappropriately in the waiting area. I imagined all sorts of compromising positions she could find J and I engaged in like poorly-manner teenagers.
Instead, we were greeted with a lovely, intuitive older woman. She shared a wealth of information about how donors are chosen, success rates, resources and etc. She asked us great questions and treated us with utmost respect. I ended the session wishing that this woman had been my real therapist when I needed one. For instance when I mentioned the miscarriage, this woman showed sympathy then said, “We really do a bad job of letting women know that about 1 in 3 pregnancies will end in miscarriage.” She was so warm and understanding. She seemed to understand infertility and the issues surrounding it. I loved that she did not feel the need to help me “come to terms” with my experiences or infuse me with false hope.
But, I am hopeful again. I hope we move up the donor lists quickly and I hope that J and I can maintain the amount of fun we have been enjoying in the past few days. Seems like this forced break is removing some pressure and allowing us to remember that we are a couple who is in love, not just a couple with an insanely frustrating goal.
BTW: happy 100th post to me.