Of emotions, waiting and celebrations

Since my transfer, my emotions have been all over the map. Granted I have been a more tearful person in general since I began TTC but seriously I have hit a new level of emotionality. Now I don’t feel that it is enough to simply get tearful over other people’s blogs, kind remarks from friends, television shows (especially when babies are born) and etc. Now I feel that there must actually be tears rolling down my cheeks and occasional sobs. This behavior is really embarrassing for me. I tend to be rather understated so all these waterworks are more than a little disconcerting. The problem is that I cannot seem to stop myself. Seriously, I try all the tricks: looking up at the ceiling, deep breathing, reminding myself that I am also being affected by the medications at this point. Nothing works!

On other fronts, I am feeling cautiously optimistic about this cycle. I keep telling myself: “young eggs and high quality embryos.” The clinic also used ICSI and assisted hatching. I like the idea of using new techniques (for me). Surely new efforts will equal new outcomes, right? Right? I am trying to focus on eating well, meditating and not allowing myself to worry too much. The jury is still out on whether I will be able to stay in this calm happy place. I think I am hoping for some small symptom in the next week, like impossibly sore bbs, a bit of implantation spotting or something.

Also today J and I are celebrating our 6 year anniversary. We are keeping it rather low key this year as I am still under many cycle-related restrictions. I think we will have a nice dinner and some shopping afterward. Feeling inspired by the rash of “how we met” stories I have really enjoyed lately, I may put together the story of how J and I met in a future post…. must stay busy in the 2ww.



Filed under donor egg cycle

7 responses to “Of emotions, waiting and celebrations

  1. tireegal68

    Oh wow – those emotions! Which is easier? Sadness or anger? They are both sucky in their own way – I am here sitting in the TWW with you and hoping for some beautiful high quality babies! Looking forward to hearing your "how we met story" !!!

  2. anofferingoflove

    happy anniversary! get used to the emotions and teariness, they become a permanent fixture after that upcoming bfp! :)for what its worth, i had absoultely NO symptoms with my successful ivf cycles. i was completely, 100% sure they were a bust. dont let yourself focus too much on that, it'll just drive you crazy. sending hopeful, sticky thoughts your way.

  3. C.I.W.

    I was gone this weekend and missed your transfer post…. lay down, would you? put your feet up. 🙂 casey

  4. mulberry

    i know what you mean about the emotion thing… i have high hopes for this round for you both. sending you sticky vibes…

  5. insertmetaphor

    Let it out, Cindy! It's good to cry! (This is coming from someone who is similarly reserved – ttc has increased my crying 1,000 fold!)I'm excited for your optimism and for those top notch embryos snuggling down for a long stay!Happy anniversary!

  6. Best When Used By

    Coming from one who had herself a good blubbery cry this weekend, I say if you feel the need to do it, do it. You'll feel better afterward. You're going to be on an emotional rollercoaster for a while, and all we can do is cope as best we can. Luckily, you have your sweet wife of 6 years to help you through this time. Congratulations on your anniversary and I'd love to read your "how we met" story. Looking forward to it.

  7. poppycat

    I've been off the grid for the past week and I missed some very important posts here! You ARE right… new procedures = new results! Hope you had a wonderful anni!

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