It is over. I am not pregnant.
I went to the RE’s office only to find that my pg test was not covered in the large fee we paid for this cycle. My insurance required that my blood be sent away to another lab which means no answer until tomorrow afternoon. I literally began sobbing in the lab tech’s little cubicle area. I almost felt sorry for the blood lady as she tried in vain to comfort me. I gathered myself and made it to my car. Where I called J and reported the day’s suckage through sobs, sniffs and gasps. She called our GYN who I am convinced is the nicest man in the universe. The GYN agreed to do a bloodtest and give us the results within a 2 hour period. All covered by my insurance thank.you.very.much. Of course the doc came in and said that there is no HCG in my system. He was kind and apologetic. He also wrote me a new script for my anti-depressant.
J and I are so sad, angry and broken that there are no words to express the emotions. We are wrestling with “why” and what to do next. There are no answers in this primal place. But we are open to answers if anyone has some.