And the beat goes on

I had more b/w and an ultrasound this week. My E2 is coming down (187) and my lining is STILL excellent at 10.5. Of course these numbers are all wrong for suppression but meh. The nurse said that as long as I start my period by the 18th all will be well for us to have a December transfer. If I do not see AF by the 18th then we will miss the December window (since I need time for my lining to build) and the lab will close before I can complete my cycle. Worst case scenario is that I have to cycle in January, which at this point in my TTC history is not a very bad potential worst case. 🙂 The good news is that my nurse said that I can stop the weekly blood draws and ultrasounds. Yippee! Because I have to say that I have been getting more action from the ultrasound tech than I have been getting at home. I feel like the tech should at least buy me dinner or ask about my interests.

In other news, Joey and I are visiting her home for Thanksgiving. I sooooo do not want to go but I have not seen them in over 2 years. What can I do, except paste on a smile and drive to see them? I just wrote an exceedingly honest description of her family then realized that such honesty on-line would be bad and erased it. Imagine this: if my family were described musically it would likely be some Jack Johnson song. Easy and laid back. If her family were described musically, think “Dueling Banjos” and all the connotations that go along with that. However, they are warm and accepting of me so I should learn to be happier about visiting.

But as part of our trip, Joey and I are meeting with a young pregnant pseudo-relative who is considering adoption. There are many many crazy factors and family pressures surrounding this young woman that are helping her think that she is not ready to raise a child- the details of which I will share in a protected post after we meet with her if things appear as though they will pan out. I can say that the girl is almost 6 months pregnant with a son and she is considering giving her baby to Joey and I. We know better than to get really attached to this idea right now because there are way too many “ifs” surrounding the whole situation, but maybe.

I have this little glimmer of hope that we could have a baby in our house in February and that thought is utterly intoxicating. Joey has always wanted to adopt and I have always wanted to carry a baby. So here is the happiest dream ever: what if within the next few months, we both got our hearts’ desires? What if we have not 1 but 2 babies in our home by the end of 2010? I cannot imagine how my heart could contain such joy.

And now I am back to reality: one step at a time. Suppression, period, transfer, pregancy test and talk, home study, waiting, lawyers. All maybes.



Filed under adoption thoughts, do-over DE cycle

14 responses to “And the beat goes on

  1. Lizzie

    Well, I hope your period comes, and your body cooperates. And I hope the Thanksgiving visit is painless. Very excited about the adoption. At our agency, they tell us that we should be networking ourselves, not just relying on the agency to make a match. Because matches made like yours, by a friend of a friend of a colleague's pseudo-relative (etc.) are more likely to go through, since there is an authentic, human, I found a home for this child myself and I know people who know the adoptive parents, element to it. (Are my run on sentences making sense?) But even if she chooses you, the state will make you jump through all the hoops. So definitely work on your home study!! YAY for the craziness of IVF and adoption pursuits at the same time. Something is coming! xo

  2. Malea

    Yeah!!!!for two babies.Dueling Banjos. I feel you honey on that one. We all have to suffer through those situation during the holidays.lolEat lots of pie:)

  3. Meredith

    I think you need to buy the most beautiful pair of white panties that have ever been made and wear them on the 18th. There will be no stopping aunt flo then!Regarding the potential of adoption- it sounds like a good situation for you all, the mother, and the baby. Are you all considering an open adoption situation?

  4. C.I.W.

    Holy cow.. that is big. You seem very level headed, and are able to process this all very well. Hats off to you! As for the family thing– sister.. dear god, just let me say.. I KNOW THE FEELING. hardcore.

  5. Lara (NoodleGirl)

    What a lovely thought for the springtime, not one, but TWO of your heart's desires. Talk about birth and rebirth. I'm hoping for this scenario with all my being for you. But, hey, even 50% success would be pretty darned good, huh?


    I would love to be on the transfer train with you in Dec! I'm keeping my fingres crossed for that. I absolutely love the musical descriptors for the families. It says it all without laying down the dirt. I have a friend who was in a very similar situation with a young member of her family. My friend and her husband have been the proud parents of that baby for the past 9 years and they had a baby of their own as well. I think it was a really good situation for all because the child stayed in the family and the birthmom is able to feel happy about the child's life while still getting the chance to grow up herself and live a life with options. it was a win/win situation for all involved. What an amazing gift for all involved – you, her, the child's grandparents.And I second Meredith's hilarious sujestion for the white panties!

  7. Bean stalk ballads

    Love love LOVE the dueling banjos comment. I totally get it… as I totally get having loving but painful in laws. Oh Cindy… what an exciting situation… I would so love for you to have the two babies you are wanting…

  8. thebao

    Holy crap what an exciting possibility! I can't wait to hear more about this. Fingers crossed that the adoption and a successful December transfer both come to fruition.Best of luck with your Thanksgiving travel plans. oof.Your description of your relationship with the ultrasound tech cracked me up, btw.

  9. Next in Line

    For thanksgiving dinner you need to wear brand new white panties, with white pants and a short shirt that comes to your waist. Don't bring a change of clothes! That has gotta do it. I am crossing my fingers for a December transfer and an adoption going ahead.

  10. Best When Used By

    The thought that you could have TWO babies next year is so exciting I got goosebumps reading it! That would be incredible and I hope you and Joey both get your dreams fulfilled.And I laughed a lot when I read the "dueling banjos" description. So funny! You know I have in-law issues too, so I understand your reluctance. Yeah, just wear the pasted smile and try to get through it.I hope you can make the December transfer, but January would be just fine too. You still have a plan.I can't wait to trade Thanksgiving stories!

  11. tireegal68

    Families! Who'd have 'em?!!!! The answer is we would! We just hope ours are going to be more melodious and harmonious than the ones we come from! Your in laws sound intriguing – though I agree it's wise not to put all the details out there for all eternity! Your plans are so exciting – and I hope some wonderful combination of them conspires to give you at least one, if not two little babies! As for AF are you really late with that and are they giving you something to help it come along ? Hey, with any luck we will be on similar schedules !Hoping for good news! 🙂

  12. Dagny

    I just hope.xoxo

  13. insertmetaphor

    Wow! There are big things coming at your house! I'm so excited about the many possibilities for your family. Hearing the hope in your voice (well, your written voice), brings a huge smile to my face. One way or another, 2010 is going to bring a baby into your arms!

  14. Dee

    I see we are both starting around the same time! xxx

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